SOMEONE ELSE'S OPINION DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER.

Let me ask you a hard question:

Why do we put so much value on the opinions of others, when they’re often the people who are judging us rather than fixing their own shit?

Seriously! We put SO much time and energy into worrying about what other people are going to think about us. And they’re just going to judge us, no matter what we do! Who fucking cares about their opinion? Why are we putting value in their opinion at all?

With the crazy that comes with the holiday season, we’re about to be surrounded with more of those unwelcome opinions. Let’s take our efforts and energy back. Let’s turn it inwards and reflect, nurture, love and value ourselves instead.

I encourage you to make time to self-nurture during the busiest time of year. I know, I know, it’s easier said than done. But if you’re not in the studio to RECHARGE, you’re going to burn yourself out. Commit to yourself and show up at least once a week.

It can be hard to put yourself first — I get it! But that’s self-love. No, not the commercialized version of self-love… you know, the one that’s synonymous with something material. “Take a bubble bath! Eat some chocolate. Drink some wine.”

NO. That’s treating yourself, not nurturing yourself.

Don’t feed into that bullshit. Self-love is so much more than eating chocolate and drinking wine in your bathtub. Fuck, I WISH it was that easy. Self-love is deep work and it’s hard to love ourselves and nurture that, especially if you’ve been through some shit. (And I mean, who hasn’t?!)

Let’s take it back a notch. Instead of starting out with, “I love myself!” say, “What do I value about myself?”

Throughout the course of life, there are so many times and situations that make you question your worthiness. Situations that make us question if we’re lovable, if we’re enough. And it brings you to a place where you’re defined by someone else’s opinion of who you are, what you do, things you say — you name it!

Your worth should not be dictated by the judgment of others.

It’s really scary to start self-reflecting and really considering the feelings that you have about yourself. Are those feelings from YOU, or is it from what somebody else has told you? Ask yourself that. And always, always reflect from a place of kindness.

When you’re self-reflecting or as I like to call it, quietly contemplating (you know, lounging on the couch, deep in thought), the key to growth is when you start sensing that judgment mentality. Don’t push it away! Let it take a seat and replace it with compassion and kindness.

Explore yourselves with kindness, compassion, and an open heart. You are not defined by the circumstances of your life. No matter what happened to you, it doesn’t have to define who you are. You don’t have to be stuck in that space for the rest of your life.

At any moment, you can say to yourself, “I’m not letting that define me. I’m going to get back to who I really am. I’m going to discover who I really am!”

And sometimes, who you really are is REALLY FAR from where you’re at. What brought you joy as a child? Revisit some of those things. Can you put that into your life now? Dancing is the perfect example of that!

When we are little, we run and dance. We’re wild and carefree!

Nurture that wild child that you were when you were young, before life got in your way. Before the opinions of others got in your way.

Bring some of that freedom back into your life now.

That’s what the studio is here for. When you walk through the doors of our space, you can leave everything at the door — the self-judgment, fears, worries, apprehensions, and everything in between. When you walk in, know that this space is for you to run wild and do whatever the fuck you want. Move how you want. Explore your body how you want. NO JUDGMENT.

And not only are you free from judgment, but you’re encouraged! You’re loved and witnessed. This is a space for you to nurture that.

Walk through the studio doors and enjoy this space to truly slow down, connect with yourself and discover yourself.

I’ll say it a million times, but when you are in class with all of these beautiful humans of all different shapes, sizes, and ages, you’ll see so much beauty in that! And I’m not talking about the beauty that mainstream media show us — I’m talking about true, raw, authentic beauty.

The more you surround yourself with that, the more you can turn that energy inwards. It will help you become so strong and aware of who you innately are — and that can never be taken away from you!

So, once again, I encourage you to make a conscious decision — a devotion — to take the time every week for yourself for TRUE self-love and self-care. Make the time to center and ground yourself. In doing so, you’ll relax and surrender to who you truly are inside… and it’ll open you up to receive love and kindness from others. It’ll also allow you to give to others from a place of abundance, rather than a place of resentment!

Let me be clear — this shit isn’t easy. People (myself included!) have a really hard time seeing their own value. We fight it tooth and nail. “I’ve been this way forever. It’s just who I am.” It becomes comfortable to live in a place of judgment and that’s because it’s all we’ve ever known and experienced.

It’s up to you to make the conscious choice to believe in your own value. When you know and believe in your value and worth, you have the key to freedom in every area of your life.

This is especially important going into the holiday season. You’ll likely be in more situations where you’ll be judged. It’s stressful to have your value and worth tested by so many others. Take the time to nurture and connect with yourself. Then, you can shut down all those little voices and continue reflecting from a place of kindness.

And if, despite your best efforts, those voices do creep in, here’s something that you can do. It helps me immensely and I’ve made it a daily practice.

Slow down for 60-seconds. Find one moment of relaxation and surrendering to a moment of bliss. The more you can make that a practice in your day-to-day life, the more authentically you’ll show up with the things you want to embody.

Commit and devote to this! It will take time and you’ll be tested over and over again. But the juiciest stuff (AKA the lessons) happens in the struggle. And on the hardest of days, you know — when you can't get your butt out of the house to get to the studio — sit with yourself for those 60-seconds. There is not a day that you won’t learn something new about yourself.

It’s my life’s passion to bring this realization to others. Pole has changed my life (read a bit more about that here), and I hope that this helps you come to that realization sooner than it did to me.

Take all of that beautiful energy that you have and give it to yourself. Turn it inwards, instead of wasting it on the opinions of others.

See you in class! Oh, and follow us on Instagram to stay up to date with the latest from Catalyst Movement Arts.